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Situations where both parties feel unheard are common, however, skills to limit these situations are not well known. These are some methods to prevent miscommunication from derailing a conversation.
Remain calm and take time to listen
Avoid overreactions
It is possible to show that you understand someone without agreeing with them
Avoid onlookers. If this is not possible, relocating the conversation is your best option.
Bring a trained individual when possible. Individuals tend to be less aggressive when talking to two people.
Verbal De-Escalation
Signs of escalating behavior
Arguing
Bothering others
Disruption
Non-compliance
Verbal abuse
Off-task behavior
What to avoid doing in these situations
Engaging in power struggles
Becoming emotional involved
Becoming ridged in the process
Saying "I know how you feel."
Becoming physical with the person you're speaking with.
Non-Verbal elements to Verbal de-Escalation
Personal Space
It is important to respect the personal space of the person you're speaking with.
Body Language
Finger pointing, rigid walking, and clenched teeth are all signs of aggressive body language. A smile and an open stance is more inviting.
Tips to De-escalation
Elswick, S. (2014, February 21) Verbal De-escalation in Schools: Knowing How to Intervene to Prevent a Crisis [PowerPoint slides] Department of Social Work, University of Memphis. https://memphis.instructure.com/courses/18871/files/2344148?module_item_id=949135
Destruction of property
whiny/crying
limit testing
threats and intimidation
Escape/Avoidance
Display aggressive body language
Attempting to intimidate the other person
Raising your voice, making threats, cussing, or presenting ultimatums/demands
Para verbal
This includes tone, volume, and inflection. Where you emphasis in a sentence can change the meaning of the sentence.
Listening
Three major listening skills includes attending (give physical attention), following (maintaining eye contact), and reflecting (paraphrase to empathize with the person you're talking to).